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Post by michaeljordan on Aug 4, 2008 22:24:36 GMT -5
I have embraced my demons And made peace With the shadow That cast the shape of who I am As we walk Side by side I feel as hollow as an empty grave Waiting for a casket That carries the remains Of some fool I have never met And my eyes dance with anger I feel the balance of good & evil SHIFT On the scales of justice Better known as my soul And cowards run For I do not walk Through the valley of the shadow of death I have made it my home As I live and breath it is a part of me The only part That will ever be at peace
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Post by foolishheart on Aug 5, 2008 14:07:38 GMT -5
Oh Michael, this is such a deep, heartfelt and introspective piece. I love it! Welcome to Out of the Dark. love to you and yours, Catie
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Post by michaeljordan on Aug 5, 2008 16:45:01 GMT -5
Thanks Catie - I reckon this would quality as "Dark" huh. Stay Strong
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Post by annbkeller on Aug 7, 2008 4:57:13 GMT -5
Goodness, Michael. How very sad! Walking side by side and yet, so empty, as hollow as a grave. I think we've all been there a time or two in our lives.
Yes, indeed, very dark.
Ann B. Keller
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Post by shelleya on Aug 16, 2008 5:05:02 GMT -5
A good dark write. Introspective. Heartfelt. Good imagery, flow and tone. Deep expression of emotion. Vivid descriptives. Good word choice, nice alliteration and assonance. Very good contrast in the feelings of darkness. I think you have a typo in line 20 (should be 'breathe'). Other than that, this is a well penned piece.
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